He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
