WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize