I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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