Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize