We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
