yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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