Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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