Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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