did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
