No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
