Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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