somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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