No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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