is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
