So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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