So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You made out with two different species that night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
