wakey wakey hands off snakey
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
