just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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