Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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