did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
