im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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