My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
