he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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