I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
