I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
