that's an acceptable place to lick
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
