the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
