If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
