Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
