omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
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