I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There's always time for handjobs
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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