But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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