she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
