a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
