I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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