How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize