At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
