South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
