I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
