May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
