listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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