You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
