escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
