It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
