dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
