I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
