it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
