I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
