just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
