I heard we made out
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
even my farts smell like vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
