I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
