I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
