Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
