somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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