So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
