haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
