You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
