I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize