I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
