his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
