so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
