The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
