just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
